Prairie

Gassy Cows

You probably have gathered by now from reading my blog,

that I'm very fond of bovines.  Smelly, drooling, gassy cows !!

I found this hilarious video some time ago - cute animation.

Also - it has a sheep in it - just like the little sheep that lives

with the herd of cows at the lakes near my house. Cute buster !

You really must read my very first post - "The Land of Tea and Lovely"

to understand the relationship between these two critters.

Ernie

I wanted to tell you about the lovely little book I received 

for Christmas.  Originally printed in 1985, it's a photographer's 

chronicle of a cat named "Ernie."  The photos are charming and 

whimsical, capturing the sweetness and naughty character of this 

feisty, fur ball !

Tony Mendoza, arrived to New York City, his car loaded down with

photography equipment, no place to live and a determination to make

it big in the art world.  He posted adverts all over downtown Manhattan,

looking for an inexpensive loft. One day he noticed someone else's ad ...

The advert read:

A painter wishes to share a darkroom-equipped loft with another artist.  

Tony rushed to the nearest phone. 

The conversation went something like this: 

"Hello, my name is Tony Mendoza. I'm a photographer and I just 

saw your ad." 

"Are you allergic to cats?"

"No, I don't think so. You have a cat?"

"Do I ever!"

The book is narrated, by both the artist and the cat. 

The cat's ill-mannered viewpoint - told exactly as a cat might 

think, makes it spirited and adds a bit of quirk.  I love this book !!

Big fight - bring it on !!

"Ernie" went out of print in the early nineties. Tony kept hearing from

fans - where could they get another copy ?  Their original book was

falling apart, or a friend wanted a copy, or they wanted it as a gift.

Tony decided to have it re-published. (2001)

The new and improved edition of Ernie has fourteen photos 

not included in the 1985 printing and better quality pictures.

I have a select few photography books on my bookshelf - 

photography captured by great artists such as Atget, 

Sanders and Stieglitz. I'm thrilled to add Ernie to my 

collection !

The Big Day Movie

Watching "love actually" at Christmas time has become customary, 

ranked up there with the classics !   Personally, I love this one .... 

Find The Marmite Contest

I was painfully homesick for America, my first year living in United Kingdom. 

I pretty much clung to my computer, checking it continuously throughout the 

day for any emails from friends and family.  What was wrong with these people ?!  

I wrote them several times a day and they wrote only once a week !  

Just because they had jobs, a life and were busy with family, was not a justifiable

excuse. I needed words of consolation, a familiar interconnection from my people.

I needed emails !  

Now - I'm probably the most rational, stable person you'll ever meet (subjective)

so this will shock you to the core when I tell you that I came up with the most 

off-the-wall idea ever.  I decided to sponsor a "Find The Marmite Contest."  

Don't ask me where these brilliant ideas spring from - genius just oozes from me. 

 I was sure to get lots of email, responding to my contest.

(clap hands and insert squeals of joy here !!)

Anyhoo - there was no chance that any of my U.S. posse would win as they 

had no idea what Marmite was. Could they Google it ? Well sure. But if they 

aren't taking time to write to me - they most certainly should not be spending 

time Googling anything !!  I felt entirely safe in the fact that I offered as prize, 

the 12 foot, bronze statute of Oliver Cromwell that stands in St. Ives, Market 

Square. Most of them had no idea who Oliver Cromwell was, let alone know 

the prize on offer weighed a few tons. Just to be sure I wasn't sued by the 

winner  - I stipulated in the rules that it was the responsibility  of  her/him, 

to collect the prize themselves. All bases covered here.

It was pure glee !!  The emails were pouring in - oh happy day !  

As I predicted, the statue of the gruff Oliver Cromwell, with his glaring expression,

outstretched arm and pointing finger - was safe.  No one had a clue as to what the 

heck Marmite was. *note - Doesn't Oliver remind you of one of those scary wall 

portraits, the kind that seem to stare at you no matter what part of the room you 

move to?  The eyes follow. Because of an oversight on my part though - the contest 

was called due to a technicality. Here is the original letter, sent September 2007, 

to all on my email list.

Dear Contestants,

 

First of all, I would like to thank each and everyone of you  for submitting 

entries for this, the first of many exciting contests to be launched in 2007.  

Unfortunately, we did not have a winner this time due to a technicality.  

The lost Marmite was actually, not in the fridge, but on a cabinet shelf, 

behind a box of stale popcorn.  And although it was a big disappointment

to the contestants, something good did come from my blunder - whilst 

I was searching for the Marmite in my mucky fridge, I decided to give it a 

good scrub and in doing so found my long lost electric toothbrush.

It was behind the celery. Had been looking for it ever since landing to 

the UK.

To those overseas contestants that wrote in thinking Marmite was some

type of rodent, I should explain that it is in fact, somewhat of a British 

olde world culinary tradition; a yeast type substance that British folk 

love to eat on toast. But in my opinion, it does smell and taste a bit like a 

rodent.  So an honourable mention for that awesome guess goes out to 

contestant Mary, from Phoenix, AZ.

 

Note: Marmite can also be used to thicken and flavour stews and soups. 

I sent a small jar to my Mum, Alice,  proprietor of  "Alice's Restaurant."  

She's been adding a pinch to soup recipes and it has been a brilliant success. 

She says business has increased tenfold and rumours have it - so has the 

resident' s sex life.  Men wearing trucker's caps have been queuing at the door !!

*note to readers:  I'm busy constructing a contest for 2009.

It's going to be  - "win the noisy old lady who lives in the flat above me" contest. 

The old gal doesn't know this yet - but she's about to win an all expenses paid 

holiday, to a surprise destination. A three way win - old lady, contestant and moi'.

The contest is open to most anyone.  Will keep you posted.

Strange Days

It was a biting cold, cloudless day here in East Anglia.  I woke up feeling that the day had a strange feel to it. Have you ever experienced this feeling ? Anyway, I'm a list maker - so before I go to sleep, I habitually leave little lists of things I need to accomplish for the next day, on my table or my nightstand.   Something I taught myself to do when I worked in the corporate world, in a past life.  Today though, felt a bit odd - a bit off - creepy.  I told myself it was just me having one of my creepy moments and proceeded to have my fruit, granola and two cups of my soy-laced, free-trade, caffeine fix.  My list said the following; an appointment at the hairdressers, a run to the bank , pay some bills,  shop for some bit's and pieces from the market and a chat with my extremely posh friend, Corrine. I first noticed it as I crossed the ancient bridge and made my way into the village.

What's this ?!  I stopped and stared for a few seconds......

Hmmmm - well that's interesting.  The holiday spirit is certainly abundant in the little market village of St. Ives.  I forced myself  to think this or alternatively, I may have to go back on those pills again.  Please no !! Not the pills !!

It suddenly washed over me, that this phenomenon was no fantasy, it was reality.  As I continued to make my way into the village, I kept reminding myself that I was not sleep walking nor was this one of my bizarre dreams, like the time I dreamt about the jogging tin of Spam that had cartoon arms and legs. Slowly, I began to acclimatise to what my eyes were seeing and accept the situation. After all,  I live on an ancient, mystical Island.  Yes, yes, I'm in England !  Things are different here on this little island.  

Get with it, Marsha !!

Okay, so the swans are in on this lunacy too ? 

I can accept it, after all, Christmas is said to be magical right ??  

Oh how adorable !  This is exactly like being in a Walt Disney movie.

Who needs pills when I can live out my  life in a celluloid, cinematographic film.

"Et tu Brute?!"  Or should I say, Oliver Cromwell !!

Finally -  proof that Cromwell was not really a Roundhead.

He's wearing a pointy hat - is he not ??

So secretly - he must have been leader of the little known, 

"Secret Society of Pointy Heads."

Okay, okay, okay ....

What sort of sick and twisted person would do this ?

This is my favourite shop !!

So not cool.

And the winner is ......

She's probably the ring leader of the Secret Society of Pointy Hats.

It suddenly dawned on me that there was to be a full moon tonight.

Strange things always happen when the moon waxes round and full.

Honestly, all I want to do is finish my errands, have my girlfriend chat

and get home where I can be safe.  I really want to go to my quiet place

right now.  I mean - look at them - they out number me !!

And you do NOT want to mess with a villager when there's a full moon.  

No telling what the "Secret Society of Pointy Heads" are capable of doing.

 

 I'm walking fast now - I'm walking across the bridge, almost 

over the bridge, I see my street, I'm not far from my flat - keep it steady ....

Hold it !  I must stop for just a second and admire the lovely green

field whilst the sun sets.  Isn't that gorgeous !!

This vista makes it all worth while. The Secret Society, the Walt Disney

existence, the corrupted Buddha, all of it just fades away when I look at this.

Okay - now run like hell !!  

{post script}

No seagulls, swans, dogs, people or Buddhas were harmed in 

the making of this blog, nor were they coerced into wearing the pointy hats.  

The seagulls were a bit reluctant at first - but they eventually came around.

All participants were allowed to keep their pointy hats.